My heart beats for two
by Danni-Sherlockian-Ireland
Summary: For my friend Storiesneverdie - i have loved my raggedy doctor since the day we met but i can't choose between him and Rory. What would happen if i told my husband the truth about me and the raggedy doctor? *All character are copyright of their owners and i am just playing with them* :D - R&R please :)
1. Chapter 1

Amy POV

"I love you Amelia Pond until the ends of time. I will never forget you but you must live your life with Rory now because you cannot love a 900 year old man who will eventually outlive you. Goodbye Amelia Pond."

The Doctor turned to enter his Tardis when I grabbed my moment to properly say goodbye to my love. I ran to him and kissed him on his beautiful full lips.

"I will always love you my raggedy doctor, please never forget me for I never will." I hugged him and waved him off to start my new life with Rory.

Every night I would lie awake next to Rory, thinking. Thinking about life with Rory, what happened during the day and about my raggedy doctor. He was never far from my thoughts but I knew that he would never be mine.

However, I could dream. And I did. Every night I had the same dream. Over and over. I always wake at the same part and I have yet to find out what happens

*Dream Sequence*

"Oh, Pond, I love you so much" He pushes a loose strand of my hair behind my ear as he strokes my cheek with his baby soft finger tips.

"Hello, my raggedy doctor, I love you more" As our lips brushed I heard someone audibly gasp. I knew it could only be one person, the one I was actually meant to love; Rory.

"Amy, I thought you loved me?" Rory asked with a teary voice. I turned towards him and seen the hurt in his eyes.

"I do love you Rory but I also love the doctor. In fact I love you both equally." I tried to walk towards Rory but he pushed me aside and walked towards the doctor with an angry growl. He turned towards me "So Amy? Who is it you love more….. me or him."

*End of Dream Sequence*

That was where the dream always ended and frankly I didn't know the answer to that question because I truly loved both the same.

I then led awake for hours on end trying to answer the question and when Rory woke and told me he loved me I answered the same eventhough I wasn't 100% sure that it was true.

I am always scared of my dream coming true and Rory finding out. I always argue with myself about telling him the truth but I am always scared about what his response would be.

Rory POV

My dream was weird last night. I dreamt that Amy told me she loved another man as well as me but never told me the person's name.

When I awoke I seen that Amy was awake and I rolled over to face her. "Morning my gorgeous baby girl. How are you?"

"I'm fine darling a bit shaken up, had a bad dream but don't feel like talking about it though." I nodded and kissed her on the lips.

"Okay, I'll go start breakfast then you can have your shower. I'll call you when breakfast is ready."

He left and shut the door leaving me to my thoughts.

**A/N – This is a new story I promised my friend Storiesneverdie ages ago – well better late than never eh? :D**

Please review because I want to know your opinion on this story.

Those people who commented about my paragraphing in SFTC – I have changed it now and how about the paragraphing here, is it better? I hope so!

I plan to update every week but to be honest I am not good at keeping to schedules :P

Until next time

Danni


	2. Chapter 2

Amy POV  
After a nice long shower I had convinced myself that telling Rory was the best thing to do and that it could go either of two ways – Rory being sympathetic and helping me through it or leaving me for someone else leaving me to find the doctor.

Either way he had the right to know. I get dressed and steel myself to open the door and walk down into the kitchen where the rest of my life would be decided in about five seconds.

When I walked into the kitchen I was hit by the smell of frying bacon and coffee brewing. He had made me my favourite breakfast; a fry up with a cup of espresso on the side. This makes me feel even worse to be breaking this revelation to him but I have to do it to save my sanity from self-destructing me from the inside.

"Uhh, Rory? Can you turn the heat off of the food I need to talk to you urgently face to face without any distractions." I asked him with a gentle tone to my voice. I heard the burner go off and seen him turn to me a look of confusion on his face.

"Yeah, Amy? What do you want to talk about…..?" He looked uncertainly at me. When suddenly I realised I just couldn't say it. All my certainty of saying it to his face, all the confidence had been drained away with one look at his concerned face.

"I…Umm…I…really wanted to tell you that I want to go out and celebrate our being together today and that I love you lots and lots." His face turned from one of confusion to one of happiness and he laughed, shook his head and turned back to turn the heat back on to the food and started plating up.

I walked up to him and hugged him from behind while tears rushed down my face in shame at my behaviour. "Love you my funny girl. You do surprise me sometimes I thought you were going to break up with me then!" He laughed out and by that point I was feeling worse about what I hadn't said.

After breakfast, Rory had to go to work and he left me with a kiss and a promise of booking a posh restaurant for the evening like I had burst out with instead of telling the truth. I felt awful lying to him but after looking at his gorgeous face I just couldn't ruin the relationship for him, even for my raggedy doctor. I loved Rory dearly but Rory should come first.

It's not easy to forget about my raggedy doctor but like he said himself I needed to get on with my life. But I just can't, it isn't possible for I love him more than I ever have loved Rory. Even if I did ever find a way to tell Rory and he broke up with me, I wouldn't know where to find my raggedy doctor again and I would have no idea if he had already found someone else to fall in love with and then I would be truly alone….

Rory POV

What I found really weird was the way Amy sounded when she wanted us to go out to a posh restaurant that night. She sounded really off when she first started talking because she obviously had something important to talk to me about but when she burst out about wanting to celebrate I was confused but I knew that she wanted to talk to me what I didn't know was when she would next bring it up.

I went to work as usual and came home early to surprise her before we went out to celebrate to find her lying on the bed crying her eyes out. I ran to her side and in a worried tone asked her if she was okay and she replied in a teary voice "No, I'm not, I don't know what to do!" She leaped onto me and encircled me in a breath-taking hug.

"What happened Princess? Do I need to beat up any nasty guys?" I ask jokingly and she lashes out at me angrily "NO, there are no nasty guys out to attack me. I just really struggling at the moment and you know that thing I was going to talk to you about this morning. It has been eating at me all day and I just have to come out with it." She inhaled and I knew that she was taking a lot of courage to talk to me about whatever is plaguing her.

"Okay sweetie would it be easier for you if I wasn't looking at you?" I asked her in an understanding tone. She nodded and I squeezed her knee and turned to look away from her. "Okay Amy, you can tell me everything that you feel comfortable with at this moment. I will be understanding for you. We can sort this out together!"

She breathed in a shaky breath and said "Okay, I'll start from the beginning…."

**A/N – So what do you think guys?  
Sorry about the cliff-hanger but I needed to keep you guys coming back for more!  
Please Review for me because I really want to know what you guys think.  
If people don't review I will think no-one is reading and that would make me update less and less…  
Until next time  
Danni!**


	3. Chapter 3

Amy POV

I took in a shuddering breath "Okay I'll start at the beginning." I wiped my tears away with a tissue, sniffed and began.

"When we were travelling with the doctor and we were trying to find you, I was crying one night, he found me on my bed and he asked me if I was okay and all I needed was the feeling of being close to a man so I snuggled up to him and he kissed me softly on the top of the head. What I did next shouldn't have happened but it just did. I…I kissed him on the lips and from there on I thought of him more than just a companion. He was my raggedy doctor and I…..I loved him…" I then collapsed back onto the bed again tears rolling down my face.

There was a painfully long silence before Rory finally said something "So you've been having an affair with him behind my back?!" He exploded.

"No…It was an accident. I didn't mean for it to go further than one kiss"

He turned to look me in the eye and I saw the hatred in his aqua blue eyes. This was something I never expected from him. "What part in our vows says about cheating?" He shouted and I shook my head.

"Exactly Amy! None of it, you stupid woman, I thought we left the Doctor to have our happy ever after but apparently you were getting that with the Doctor when I wasn't around!" His icy glare showed to me that we were through

Rory POV

"We've been through so much Amy, why ruin it with an affair! I thought you were better than this?" I told her in a quiet and scary voice. She just cried harder.

"I'm sorry Rory. I'm so, so sorry, Please forgive me. I love you. I always have and always will!" she whispered.

"I thought you did too but I was obviously wrong! Well thank you for nothing Amy! I thought you loved me! Well I'll just pack my stuff up and leave for someone that might actually love me and take wedding vows seriously. I'll see you in court you waste of space!" I slammed her bedroom door and seconds later I slammed the front door shut; never returning, never caring.

Amy POV

I cried endlessly for hours until I fell into a restless sleep.

Rory POV

I never thought our relationship would be over because I thought she had loved me but now I know about them I cannot bare to stay around and be second best to her. I must find someone that will love me and only me.

Amy POV  
***At the Court House***

"You are no longer Mr & Mrs Williams. Case Dismissed" This was where my heart finally broke. He was finally free from me but I wasn't free from myself. My grief still eating me from the inside, out.

"Goodbye, I hope I never see you ever again. I hope you are happy now." Those were the last words Rory Williams ever said to me and they were so full of hatred and disgust that I will never forget them. I will never forget him.

When I got home, I stood in the hallway not knowing what to do with myself. I felt the day pushing sown on me and the only thing I could do was go to bed which would welcome me with the comfort of its warmth that would help me forget the day and fall sleep.

I couldn't get to sleep though because my pleasant dreams turned into horrible nightmares that scared the living daylights out of me.

*Dream Sequence*

I ran. Ran through dark alleyways trying to escape me pursuer. "I'm coming to get you, Amy Pond." He said in a serious tone that sent shivers down my spine and warnings to run faster to my muscles. I tripped on a rock and went tumbling to the floor which helped my pursuer catch me up.

"Who are you? What do you want?" I screamed at him. He just laughed, picked me up and took me away from everything I knew.

*End of Dream Sequence*

That has been the dream that has plagued me ever since the divorce. It's the scariest dream I have ever encountered and I just hope it never comes true.

"Amy? Amy? Are you okay, sweetheart? Answer me?" A nervous voice asked me. I thought I knew that voice but I knew in my hearts of hearts that it wasn't the one I most wanted to see.

**A/N – Well… R&R Please? Be brutally honest with me was it good, rubbish? I need more than one review a chapter people…. Or you won't get an update! ****J**** But I really do love having reviews there is nothing worse than an author not getting reviews so please? I'll beg in my hands and knees :P**

Until next time

Danni


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